A.J. Bingham

The Personal Context of Success

November 10, 2009 · Leave a Comment

A.J. Mad Menized

 


Pete Campbell: “I want to be a partner and I want my name in the lobby.”

Don Draper: “There’s not going to be a lobby.

From time to time I wonder when will I reach that peak when I am viewed as a successful individual.  I’ve had successes in my life up to this point, so to clarify I’m thinking about ultimate success, the king of the hill.  An accompanying thought, and the topic of discuss here is where will I be when I reach that point?  Will my name be in the lobby?  Will my name be on the door in a high rise corner office?  Not necessarily aspirations I’ve dwelled on, but you get the idea

Watching the season finale of AMC’s Mad Men made me think of this.  Really throughout the season characters like Roger Sterling and Pete Campbell, but especially Don Draper the protagonist/antagonist has fueled these thoughts.

Roger Sterling: “How long do you think it’ll take us to be in a place like this again?”

Don Draper: “I never saw myself working at a place like this.

I think for a good amount of people out there, it’s not merely the accomplishment, succeeding, but the context you find yourself in that really defines our ambitions.  What’s the point of being in first place if you’re not at the top of the winner’s podium right?  We all want some kind of recognition.  I know down the road there won’t be some cheering crowd and ribbon for me to break across to let me know I’ve made it.  I think we all know this, but we wonder nonetheless.

And there is anything wrong with that.  We need to dream, especially of success.  However I just wonder if the dreams we have of where that success will find us is necessarily where we will want to be if/once we’re there?

I welcome your thoughts!

//A.J.

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Cross Your Rubicon!

November 5, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Land Rover 90 Welsh Highlands River Crossing by Nick Wilkes.

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The Rubicon

Roman Law prohibited the Rubicon from being crossed by any Roman Army legion.  This was meant to protect Rome from internal military threat.  Crossing the river was to declare in all but word declare war on Rome.

What is your Rubicon?

On a personal level, the Rubicon represents the dividing line between an undesirable situation and more promising, if risky ventures.    When Julius Caesar crossed it was said he uttered the words “Alea iacta est,” the die is cast.  In his case he was inciting civil war.  You are then declaring war as well.

I would say going to law school and also deciding to work at the Texas Capitol have been my major Rubicons.  With both I took/have taken a resolute mind-set, in some way internalizing Caesar’s words, or in the words of Jay-Z, “I will not lose.”

What are some Rubicons you’ve crossed in your life?

//A.J.

“The gate is straight
Deep and wide
Break on through to the other side”

“Break on through (to the otherside), The Doors”

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The World of Winners and Losers

November 2, 2009 · 1 Comment

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Below is an article by JYP , a singer, songwriter, record producer and the current CEO/founder of JYP Entertainment, a major artist management/record label of Asian pop music.  Think Diddy, but Korean.  A college classmate (thanks Matt!) had posted it in a note last year and I wanted to share.

While it is broadly aimed at those just beginning their post-high school lives, JYP does address those of us in our mid-20’s which I have put in bold.  He writes…

“When you are 18, the world gets divided into the “winners’” and the “losers.”(20 Korean age = 18 American age. Referring to the college entrance).  Ones that got into colleges of their dreams and ones that failed.  Between these two worlds, there were obvious differences in every aspect.

On one side, there are parents’ blessing, new clothes, romance/excitement of college life that comes with hope, while on the other side there’s really nothing more than the cold reality of life.  No longer is he/she protected within the parent’s fence or use youth as an excuse for immaturity.  To be the result of the few immature years during the youth, it was too cruel and the difference was too immense.

After I have crossed that bridge, did I finally realize how brittle and how dangerous the bridge that I have crossed. I was relieved at the fact that I was part of the “winner” circle and spent every minute of my time enjoying this status.

Really, early part of my 20’s was just one big celebration of victory, and I didn’t invest any time or effort into my future. My early 20’s were filled with friends, women, alcohol, and clubbing. I had gotten complacent.  I mistakenly believed since I was in the “winner” circle, I can live my life freely without any worry.  However after 7 years have passed, I started to witness amazing changes.

The seemingly never-ending world of the two have intertwined and have gotten divided into four and then eight different worlds.  My friend who had wandered aimlessly after not getting into a college, wrote a book about his journey and became a bestseller.  While my other friend who graduated from a prestigious college and then hired at a prestigious job, became unemployed after he lost his job due to the unexpected restructuring of his company.

Friends who couldn’t go to college became best in their respective areas as a choreographer and a CEO of a restaurant chain.
Without any notice, what seemed to be impenetrable barriers of the two worlds seem to be crumbling.  At 18 years old, it was just the beginning.

Like those 18 year olds, who tasted the bitter failure because they failed to realize the concept of the two worlds, people who naively think their current state of the world, at mid 20’s will not change, will also taste the bitter failure in less than 10 years.  On the other hand, people who don’t give into the concept of “two worlds”, who continue to keep faith and stride toward their dreams and their goals, will overcome the boundary of the two worlds.

Those of you that are 18 years old, whether you like it or not, the world will put you in either the “winner” circle, or the “loser” circle.Winners do not be complacent, Losers, do not despair.  If you have realized that the world will divide into two when you are 18, then you will also find out in seven, eight years later it will once again divide.

At the tender age of 18, don’t forget that it is only the beginning.  Just because you get a head start doesn’t mean you will come out on top.  Likewise, just because you get a late start doesn’t mean you are not going to come out on top.” -JYP

I believe JYP’s advice is very pertinent for our times.  Especially in the current state of the job market, for some of us, it is very easy to fall into negativity and think you have “lost”.  However, nothing in this world remains static.  Change happens.  Whether that change happens in leaps and bounds, or slightly beyond our daily measure, things change.

There needs to be a balance.  Believing you are a winner and will always be a winner, or conversely, a predetermined loser is extremely unhealthy.  Life doesn’t work that way.  For a real world example, check out this Vanity Fair article concerning disgraced lawyer Marc Dreier.

Have a great week!

//A.J.

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Sticky Goal Setting: Learning for Better Living

October 28, 2009 · 6 Comments

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Goal Net

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To all my readers, mom and dad, I apologize.  It has been awhile and I’ve had a few things weighing on my mind.  You know those phases, things seem out of sorts, and well they need to be sorted.  So now I’m back.

I’ve been reading Keith Ferrazzi’s Who’s Got Your Back, a book that deals with creating peer support systems to excel in professional and real life.  The book is almost completed, but I re-read a section on goal setting last night.

I found it apt as the year is almost at a close.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who battles with making goals stick, from the day-to-day, to the yearly and beyond goals.  Ferrazzi suggests a streamlined approach.  Instead of laying out a goal, look behind the goal at the steps, or process, necessary to achieve it.

Two Types of Goal Setting

Ferrazzi presents two types of goals, performance and learning.  “Performance goals,” he states, “imply a finite result, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”  He cites as examples, landing a job, losing 10 pounds or boosting sales by 10 percent.  Conversely, learning goals “involve thinking about the rainbow, not just the pot of gold,” such as picking up new language to get the job, or refining marketing tactics.

My Performance and Learning Goals

Performance Goals:

  • Pass the February Texas Bar Exam
  • Get a job
  • Blog three times a week
  • Decrease my 5K time to 30 minutes
  • Save money

Learning Goals:

  • Learn how to condense great amounts information for greater understanding and recall.
  • Learn new networking techniques and strategies.
  • Find five new techniques for creating and drafting quality content.
  • Learn how BMW maintenance/repair (saving potentially hundreds of dollars)

That is all I have right now, and that’s enough I think!  I’d like to hear from y’all.  What are some performance and learning goals out there?

//A.J.

And for a later post:  A.J.’s Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals

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Help, Quarterlife Crisis!

October 14, 2009 · 3 Comments

Cobra soldier costumes at Dragoncon 2008 by Fordan.

No, it’s not about being unemployed or studying for the Texas bar.  The crisis involves my inability to decide on a Halloween costume!  For those that know me, and those that don’t, I’m open to suggestions.  This issue needs to be resolved as I have not had a decent nights sleep all week.  I’m fairly creative but always get stuck on what to do for Halloween (I was a surgeon) last year.  I guess because I love myself so much I couldn’t fathom pretending to be someone/something else.

In any event drop your suggestions s’il vous plait.

//A.J.

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Dream Records.

October 12, 2009 · 4 Comments

A Sleeping Cherub in Babyland by musicmuse_ca.

Lately there’s been a new addition to my early morning routine.  Instead of popping out of bed, usually before my 5 AM alarm goes off, and gearing up for the gym and a quick bowl of Kashi, I’ve started to write down my dreams.  No, not my ambitions and aspirations for life, but the raw footage of my subconscious.  The stuff drawn up from REM sleep.

After 26 years, I have a pretty good understanding of the way I think , at least when I’m awake.  Even my day-dreams are largely tied to active thoughts.  But what goes on up in my head when no more sensory input is coming in?  When the day’s thoughts are mixed together with my subconscious?

I’ve only started this dream journal last week, so there’s no trend or themes I can see yet.  I have found though that with each entry comes a greater recall, down to minute details.  That’s a start.  It’s the little things I’m particularly curious about.

I wish I had done this earlier and don’t know why it never occurred to me before.  I generally track what I eat, my workouts, and numerous other areas of my life, so why not my dreams?  It will be very interesting to look back on this in a year, or whenever I come to the end of the journal.

//A.J.

p.s.  I think it would be very cool to read the dream journals of your parents and grandparents when they were your age.  I’d be curious to see if there were commonalities on a generational level.

p.s.s. Kid Cudi’s “Soundtrack 2 My Life” is a sweet track!

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Train–Hey, Soul Sister

October 4, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I’m not a big Train fan, but this song stuck with me. The lyrics have a pleading quality, and evokes possibility and hope.  Great Sunday afternoon song.

//A.J.

more about “Train–Hey, Soul Sister“, posted with vodpod

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HAPPY 31ST ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS!

September 30, 2009 · 5 Comments

Feburary 137

This post is dedicated to my parents who today have been married for 31 years.  To the two people most important to my development I wish a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Thirty-one years of marriage is, sadly, not the norm these days, especially among black families.  And I’ve been fortunate enough to have two outstanding role models for what, someday, I hope to have for myself.

I found this William Penn poem, titled Never Marry But For Love, that adequately expresses my sentiments:

Never marry but for love; but see that thou lovest what is lovely. He that minds a body and not a soul has not the better part of that relationship, and will consequently lack the noblest comfort of a married life.

Between a man and his wife nothing ought rule but love. As love ought to bring them together, so it is the best way to keep them well together.

A husband and wife that love one another show their children that they should do so too. Others visibly lose their authority in their families by their contempt of one another, and teach their children to be unnatural by their own examples.

Let not enjoyment lessen, but augment, affection; it being the basest of passions to like when we have not, what we slight when we possess.

Here it is we ought to search out our pleasure, where the field is large and full of variety, and of an enduring nature; sickness, poverty or disgrace being not able to shake it because it is not under the moving influences of worldly contingencies.

Nothing can be more entire and without reserve; nothing more zealous, affectionate and sincere; nothing more contented than such a couple, nor greater temporal felicity than to be one of them.

Congratulations Al and Toni!

//A.J.

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Drake ft Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem-Forever Music Video

September 29, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The instrumental alone is epic!

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Monday Inspiration: Fill Your Days.

September 28, 2009 · Leave a Comment

blades of grass by Z'Brox.

And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life
slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass.

-Ezra Pound

Pound’s words convey the ease by which our lives can drift by with no impact on the world.  By “world” I don’t mean the expanse of the globe, but what is within your reach daily, starting with your family, and on out.  By “impact” I don’t mean coming up with the next big product or hottest company.  More often than not, it is the little things, and sometimes the big things, that have the biggest impact.  Affecting lives in ways we can’t yet contemplate or see in the present.

Fill your days!

//A.J.

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